Mother, may I sleep with a gun so I can shoot myself?

About 6 months ago...
My mom: Your cousin is engaged! We get to go to his wedding in Phoenix!!
Me: What? When is it?
Mom: Nov. 1st, we can go for the whole weekend, it will be great!
Me: Not gonna happen, that's Halloween weekend and I'm broke.
Mom: We'll talk about this later.

About 3 months ago...
Mom: So we have to plan our trip to Arizona. You and Casey have to look into getting your airline tickets soon!
Me: We don't have any money and we are not going.
Mom: Ugh. I'll buy your plane ticket and pay for the hotel. You just bring spending money.
Me: We can't take time off work, and I have to sing at synagogue! I just started my job, I don't have any vacation time...we are not going!!
My dad: You don't have to go, it's ok.
Mom: You're going!!

Today...
Mom: I bought you and Casey you're plane tickets! You need to take Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off. Can you get that off? Did you already take that off? Did Casey take that off??!!
Me: We can take it off I guess, but I told you we aren't going.
Mom: Is it approved? Did you talk to your bosses??
Me: We won't know if it's approved for like another week.
Mom: WHAT??!! I bought the tickets!! I only have 24 hours to cancel them!!! Can't you find out now??
Me: You are crazy and I hate you. (hangs up)

5 minutes later...(phone ringing)
Mom: hello?
Me: We'll go, but there better either be a free bar or a liquor store near by. (hangs up)

My Catholic friends always complain about guilt. I think they have it easy. There is no comparison to my crazy Jewish mother. She definatley won this one. Mom: 1 Jenni: 0

To be continued...